Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

The Envelope: Addictions, get ’em while you’re hot

Benjamin Garcia
January 16, 2017
Filed under Columns, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

Do you know that Nietzsche drank almost only water because he believed that alcohol gives people an unearned sense of achievement and it's an unhealthy way to cope with reality? I agree, just look at Kanye for evidence. Using substances to block out the hardships of life will stop a person from being... Read more »

The Envelope: Self-care and socialism

January 11, 2017
Filed under Columns, Love & Sex, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

Comrades, 2016 was hard for all of us. Arguably the year from hell. The world should have ended in 2012. I would go as far as saying that it was homophobic for inconveniencing me personally and killing so many gay icons- such as David Bowie, Carrie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds. I know that students... Read more »

The Envelope, Love & Sex: New Year, new boo

Benjamin Garcia
January 4, 2017
Filed under Columns, Love & Sex, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

I was astral projecting into my ex-boyfriend's dreams to inflict chaos and terror in a place where I can't be punished. All of a sudden the wisdom of a thousand years flooded into my brain like a tidal wave into an extra small bikini cup, ripping it right off instantly; all because I got a new perspective. No... Read more »

The Envelope: Jew explains Christmas

Benjamin Garcia
December 24, 2016
Filed under Columns, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

It's not very often that Hanukkah falls this close to Christmas, which might make Jews living in the pain of the diasporas fearful of looking like a schmuck for ignorance of the holiday. So I have prepared a brief explanation of Christmas for those who are celebrating the eight nights of Hanukkah an... Read more »

The Envelope: Abolish Christmas and free the people

Benjamin Garcia
December 20, 2016
Filed under Columns, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

People across this great nation generally have their panties in a bunch over The Mall of America's decision to feature a black Santa Claus for the wholesome Christmas tradition of taking pictures of young children sitting on a strange older man's lap. "Naughty" indeed.I for one, don't care what race... Read more »

The Envelope: Rich gays sacking culture

Benjamin Garcia
December 6, 2016
Filed under Columns, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

"Pink capitalism" is a term used to describe the type of materialism which has constructed the gay male ideal - which caters heavily to the cisgender, white and upper-middle class members of a community whose rights have been championed for by more oppressed peoples.The truth is capitalism is not com... Read more »

The Envelope: Sign this petition, or else!

Benjamin Garcia
November 16, 2016
Filed under The Envelope

Fellow comrades,I know that 47.8 percent of the electorate is surprised and down in the mouth at the completion of the election. I've been surprised at completion a few times, myself.However, I think the results are not so weird considering the many factors at play which include:Wasted votes - be it on third party... Read more »

The Envelope: Corporate coxcombs lack people skills

Benjamin Garcia
November 10, 2016
Filed under Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

There is a certain type of word that strikes a strange and untamable fury in me - this type being one that has been bumfiddled by the bourgeois and sabotaged with the taint of alternative meanings that revolve around the private acquisition of capital.Much like assassination attempts against Donald Tr... Read more »

The Envelope – Michelle Obama’s angina monologue

Benjamin Garcia
October 26, 2016
Filed under Columns, Opinion, Opinions, The Envelope

Michelle Obama submitted to the political elite when she spoke at a Hillary Clinton rally on Thursday, Oct. 13 in New Hampshire; which stirred thousands and gave me a migraine.It was a good show that Michelle Obama put on; how she crossed her hand over her heart to show how affected she was by the word... Read more »

Haters Back Off, a comedy quickie

Benjamin Garcia
October 24, 2016
Filed under Arts & Entertainment, The Envelope

Colleen and Chris Ballinger, Gigi McCreery and Perry Rein have struck cult-comedy gold with Haters Back Off, starring Colleen as the obnoxious yet soulful Miranda Sings - which recently premiered Oct.14 on Netflix.The writing, in many ways, was the best part of this team internet project; this is because of the offbe... Read more »

Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.
The Envelope