Cerritos College
Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

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‘Jupiter Ascending’ scrapes bottom of barrel

A train wreck from start to finish, Jupiter Ascending reaches a level of awfulness that may just put it up for worst film of 2015, despite how early in the year it was released.

The new film from the Wachoski duo, best known for their work on the Matrix trilogy, Ascending follows the story of Jupiter, played by Mila Kunis, as a seemingly ordinary young woman who is thrusted into a quais-political galatic battle between different factions of the largest empire in the galaxy.

If that plot seems somewhat familiar to another famous movie that involved a war among the stars, that’s because it borrows heavily from that movie.

From a galactic emperor named Balem Abrasax, played by Eddie Redmayne, who has the power to rid planets of life and has his targets set for Earth.

The plot wasn’t an exact copy, however, as they did take artistic liberties by including gene spliced humans, flying lizard creatures and a mess of scientific sounding terms that the directors expect the audience to know.

Characters are another story as both Jupiter and her love interest/guardian Caine, played by Channing Tatum, are both dull and one sided. Their character arches, if you can call them that, rise about as high as a playground swing.

Abrasax is by far the worst, as it has Redmayne’s worst acting to date. Every line is either a barely auidable whisper, or an eardrum shattering scream. It is sad to see an actor fall so effortlessly from being nominated for Best Actor to clinching the spot for Worst Actor in the Razzie awards

If you want to drown out the noise and simply watch the film then you’re in luck.

Visually, the film has a lot going for it, as the CGI worlds, ships, and buildings are done with incredible detail (like the great concept art you can see here http://bit.ly/1vd4RLD ).

Like others before them, the Wachoskis understood that a large part of the appeal of the science fiction genre is the creativity you can see being channeled by the artists connected to the film.

If you are looking for a bland action sci-fi film with blank character slates, but oddly specific backgrounds and coincidences, then congrats as Jupiter Ascending is the perfect film for you to waste $12 (or $15 if you go for the 3-D).

Otherwise the only people who might find some enjoyment in this are people who like to watch movies that are so bad they’re somehow enjoyable.

I award Jupiter Ascending no stars and may the Razzies show no mercy on this film.

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About the Contributor
Carlos Holguin
Carlos Holguin, Staff Writer
This is Carlos Holguin's fourth semester with the paper and he couldn't be happier to continue. When not writing or taking photos for the paper Carlos is the creator and host of The Weekly Geek, a podcast informing students on recent music, movie, and gaming news. Carlos has also been know to partake in theater here at Cerritos College.
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‘Jupiter Ascending’ scrapes bottom of barrel