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[Meganne- Mark Generous on thematic.com]
JACQUE: Hi, I’m Jacqueline Cochran. And I’m the Community editor for Talon Marks. And today I’m here with my friend Kristin Preciado. Say hi to the people.
KRISTIN: Hello, everybody!
JACQUE: And we are going to talk today about what it’s like for me to be dating at 51 years old. Oh my goodness, no.
KRISTIN: Oh, my goodness.
JACQUE: So I’m 51 years old everybody. And I am doing this whole dating app thing. Right now I’m on Match. And my friends here because she is very good at encouraging me to like, throw caution to the wind, try something different. Try new things. So the other day, I went out on a date that she pushed me to go on,
KRISTIN: She could sit at home or she could go on a date. What would you have chosen?
JACQUE: I -I said something about this young steel array. I said it doesn’t? I don’t know. I don’t think so. I mean, he’s a little strange. But what did she say? She said no, go at least you have a good meal and whatever. And you never know her. She always ends with you never know.
KRISTIN: She had a good meal.
JACQUE: Let me tell you, I get dressed. I put on you know, really, I put on those tight jeans. The ones that make my butt look really good.
JACQUE: You know, perfume, make sure my hair was done very well. makeup, the whole nine yards. I show up to the place we decided to meet at um, at the Cheesecake Factory for lunch. very casual. Not, you know, not a big deal. Right. So I get there first. I saw him sitting there and waiting. I have an idea what he looks like, right? supposed to be six, five. He’s supposed to be
KRISTIN: Supposed to be!
JACQUE: Supposed to be 58 years old. I think it is right. Because that’s a good age. Not too, too old. You know, and not too you know, not too young, whatever. And so I’m waiting. And then this guy walks in. And, and he is tall. He’s wearing shorts and got a baseball cap. Very casual, because it’s lunch. it’s my time. It’s three o’clock in the afternoon. So that’s not a problem. Right? Casual. He walks up and says, Are you, Jacqueline? I say yes, I am. Are you and I’m not gonna say his name just in case he hears this.
KRISTIN: Yeah, I would tell you
JACQUE: I don’t want to embarrass anybody. And I blinked- I think and then when I opened my eyes, I realized that he didn’t have any teeth!
JACQUE: How do you not have teeth it’s 2020? Like-
KRISTIN: He had a good job, too. He could’ve bought some teeth!
JACQUE: Why did he not have teeth? Why is this my life? So now I have to make a decision. Right? I’m-, I’m in the lobby.
KRISTIN: He probably had-
JACQUE: Do I go through with this date? Am I gonna be able to sit across the table and not uhh- focus on the fact that this man doesn’t have teeth? I don’t know. I don’t know how to do so now. I’m texting my friend here. I’m telling her. You are not gonna believe this. He doesn’t have any teeth. What do I do?
KRISTIN: Buy him some soup! [LAUGHS]
JACQUE: [LAUGHS] And I am just like, Oh my goodness. [SIGHS] They see this and the entire time I’m like focused on the fact that there are no teeth in his on the top of part of his the whole front part of his mouth. He didn’t have a- not one! And if you don’t know me, you guys don’t know me. But I spend like extra money at the dentist. I go to the dentist. You know I pay for an extra cleaning because I- I’m- I’m very I don’t know what it’s called tooth-phobic? I’m very conscious about losing my teeth. And so the fact that this guy will show up with no teeth is devastating. Devastating, devastating. Totally devastating. But thanks, friends. That was you.
KRISTIN: You know what? Cheesecake Factory lunch, not bad. You know? You got to learn what you like and what you don’t like and-
KRISTIN: -what she doesn’t like, but you know what it created fun for us. I mean, she wants to cry, but then I just laugh and then we just make the most of it. So-
JACQUE: Yeah, and she’s laughing all the time. Unfortunately, I had to sit across the table while he gummed his bread to the side and It was very, very painful for me very painful for me
KRISTIN: Put it this way. I’ve been married 26 years and I go home and kiss my husband every night after meeting Jackie and hearing her stories. I just tell my husband What a great man he is. He’s got insurance. TEETH!
JACQUE: So happy for you. So the funny thing is, we ended the date, and he never called me. He didn’t um-
KRISTIN: That’s probably because you kept staring.
JACQUE: So I think I don’t know, it’s an interesting situation. I wonder if he has a lot of first dates, but then not have a lot of second dates. Because I don’t know too many women who would want to be with toothless.
KRISTIN: That’s probably exactly what is he kind of sees the writing on the wall. So he figures if you’re interested, maybe he was thinking if you’re interested, you would call him otherwise, it just has a bunch of first dates. What’s that movie? Like? 5050?
JACQUE: 50th First Dates?
KRISTIN: Yes, Jacque!
JACQUE: It is okay. So- so then I’m like, Okay, fine. This one, we put a check, we put an X on this one. So we’re on to the next one, right? You- you on these dating apps, you just uh- you just move on to another set of profiles. So I meet this guy, or we talk. And he says he lives in Oakland. And you know, how often do I get to the Bay Area?Umm- and I was like, I Well, I haven’t been to the Bay Area very often. But I can travel. I’m open at this stage in my life, I’m ready to travel. So he’s like, okay, and like the by the second conversation, he’s calling me Queen, and oh, my queen. This and my queen that and I’m thinking, I haven’t met you. So I can’t be your queen. We don’t really know each other.
KRISTIN: That’s a red flag right there. I tell you, every time she’s had a few of us that she becomes their queen within a minute.
JACQUE: Like I don’t understand. But okay, you know, he’s it isn’t It’s nice. It’s it may be a term of endearment for him. So I start to try to weed through or find out what it is that we have in common. So I’m an aspiring writer, and so was he so we start talking about that he wrote some books, and he tells me about the books and then he asked you know a bunch of questions about me and and and what I’m interested in and stuff like that. But then he asked something very-
KRISTIN: It’s actually very interesting, like interesting. When she was telling me all this, I thought, Oh my gosh, I think you met your man like same interest. He’s like, you know, excited, the whole Queen thing was a little bit too quick. Kind of made me a little leery, but they had a lot in common. And this is like, probably one of the first ones where they just really hit it off that way. I was excited. And he was decent looking too. He was pretty cute.
JACQUE: Very cute, very handsome. He was- he was well put together. He did have his teeth. So I was excited about that because he sent pictures. Even though I did meet him in person. He did send some pictures of himself smiling and everything. But then he asked a question about how you feel about dating somebody who’s been to prison?
KRISTIN: [GIGGLES] I don’t know Jacque’s mom knows this story.
JACQUE: My mother is a probation officer. So-
KRISTIN: She might know.
JACQUE: Prison. I cannot bring home the prison guy. The prison guy can’t come home to my house. I mean, well I believe in people reforming and doing better and all that stuff. But I can’t bring a prison guy home, my mother would have- have a fit! Are you for real? But I say to him, okay, what has this person been in prison for? And that’s when it gets a little kind of funny.
KRISTIN: He didn’t steal any gums.
JACQUE: I mean, he has been in prison since he was I think he said 30 years. And he was 51 he was wearing the same age. He was 51 years old. And he had been in there 30 so his entire life his entire adult life. And it was for like kidnapping and-and other non
KRISTIN: Not good stuff.
JACQUE: Drugs and gangs- gangs and stuff. And although he was probably doing very well or better, um, it just wasn’t it wouldn’t have been a good match for me even in my what I do for a living. I-I testify sometimes so I can’t be linked to people who could make crimes or have committed crimes because then that puts my- my testimony in jeopardy. So uhh- no trip to the Bay Area.
KRISTIN: Otherwise I may not have seen Jackie and I have been sitting here by myself telling her story.
JACQUE: Yeah, I did. I don’t understand what the deal is with it because I’m paying for this. This is a this- this particular umm- dating website is the paid one. I’ve done a few of the free ones. So you would expect to get this kind of thing on the free ones.
JACQUE: Because everybody can join the free ones. I wouldn’t think that people would pay that wasn’t really ready to like a date.
KRISTIN: And I’m pretty sure he didn’t have a job either.
KRISTIN: -and but that he wouldn’t tell how he got his money.
KRISTIN: That wasn’t good either.
JACQUE: Not-not at all.
KRISTIN: -and this is a woman who’s been working and takes care of herself, her children her. She’s, yeah, she doesn’t need to take care of a man either.
KRISTIN: She just wants to man to enjoy life- life with, like, come on. Come on. I know you’re out there somewhere
JACQUE: This is my No, we’re not this is not a bid for like a date, so please- don’t try to write. please-
KRISTIN: She likes them tall
KRISTIN: -a job, too!
JACQUE: I mean, when you know what the funny thing is? Do you remember when we went to Vegas?
KRISTIN: Yeah. Oh my gosh!
JACQUE: -and we were in Vegas, we- my friend and I’m in a club. And we’re in this bar. We’re dancing, drinking. And there are some really handsome guys in this bar. The unfortunate thing is, those guys didn’t approach me. The one guy that decided that he wanted to talk to me, was the guy. I mean, I don’t know. He just wasn’t very attractive.
KRISTIN: Tell them his opening line.
JACQUE: He said-
KRISTIN: Walked straight and came in the door and walked straight to her. Didn’t even look around. He looked saw her and came straight for her.
JACQUE: And said, God told me, you gonna be my baby.
JACQUE: Be my baby.
KRISTIN: You heard me.
JACQUE: I was like, Oh, my goodness.
KRISTIN: And you know what I did? I turned around. I was like, Why does she find these guys?
JACQUE: I don’t understand.
KRISTIN: -And then he asked her to dance a short time- he bought you a drink though?
JACQUE: Oh, he did. And he wasn’t- he was a decent dancer too, by the way.
KRISTIN: But speaking of teeth-
KRISTIN: She seems to meet the guys, all kinds of teeth. He was a character and he just did stuff like that. Let me take a picture because we need a picture. Nobody back home is going to believe this. So I put them together and I took a picture and he kind of smiled just kind of you know, man smile, a little bit of a grin. And then he asked me Oh, wait, can you take another picture? When I- when I took that picture, my flash went off his he had a grill he did he paid a lot of money for that grill, because it was gold.
JACQUE: But the part you didn’t hear was he said I want you to take it another one so I can show my teeth.
KRISTIN: Oh yes.
JACQUE: He said I want you to take another picture so I can show my teeth. And he did!
KRISTIN: He wanted his money to show- he wanted you guys to see what he spent all his money on!
JACQUE: Oh my goodness. I was just like no he did. But at least he didn’t have to. He just wasn’t- we didn’t have anything in common. We had nothing- like there was nothing- there was nothing for us to like build upon.
KRISTIN: But she was supposed to be his baby
JACQUE: God told him- God- I was like but God did tell me that I’m pretty sure I didn’t get the memo. So that’s not about to happen.
KRISTIN: Oh goodness. I just hang out with her for entertainment.
JACQUE: I’m so glad that you have been.
KRISTIN: I’ve been married 26 years My life is so boring. So Jackie entertains me. But I’m okay with boring actually.
KRISTIN: Oh my goodness for Jackie. I’m gonna find her somebody someday.
JACQUE: Well, I think that’s all the time we have for the shenanigans of my life. Thank you guys for listening in and who knows we will have a different installment next in the next couple of months and see where- dating- the dating situation leads me.
KRISTIN: I’ll try to encourage her to keep going on date so we can do this again.
JACQUE: Ah, but anyway, stay tuned to all of the other podcasts we will be putting up on- on Talon Marks and in this one too, just in case I do another installment and thank you so much, and good night.
KRISTIN: Have a good night!
[Meganne- Mark Generous on thematic.com]
Audio and transcription edit by Rebecca Aguila