The annual Cerritos college Homecoming Mock Rally is quite possible the most anticipated, highly attended, wild, groovy and least understood event to happen on the college campus.

The 2001/2002 mock rally was held last Thursday in the student center in front of a capacity crowd of cheering, screaming students.

The mock rally is a highlight of the homecoming activities month with each Homecoming Princess being mocked by a male dressed up to imitate them.

Director of Grounds Wayne Nunnery presented the candidates to the student body. Each candidate was announced in ballot order along with the club sponsoring her

The new ballot is: #1 Claudia Geldis (Feminist Majority Leadership Alliance), #2 Laura Weissenberg (Football), Erica Cruz (Phi Theta Kappa), Eileen Arencibia (WPMD Broadcasting), Sarah Nord (Scholar’s Honors Club), Varangana Punchihewa (International Students Association) and Betty Sanchez (Disabled Students of Cerritos).

These seven candidates were originally selected by student vote out of a slate of 15 hopefuls the week prior.

Each woman was escorted one at a time onto the stage where they answered a few background questions from Nunnery.

Next came the highlight of the evening.

With dazzling smiles, smudged make-up and running mascara, the men came out to strut their stuff and flash some harry legs.

Each male mocker was brought out onto the stage where they walked down a short runway and shook their booties toward the judges and audience.

Each then answered a few questions from Nunnery and was given a chance to do their thing. Some danced, some lip-synced, but all gave as wild a performance as their tight dresses and high heels allowed.

Fun was had by all as the mockers poked fun at themselves, each other and the candidates they represented.

Jorge Cacho, who was mocking Sanchez, was universally recognized as “The ugliest woman to ever walk this stage.”

Geldis herself could hardly contain her laughter as her mocker James Duenas strutted onto stage with his blue hair and a booty that would make Jennifer Lopez jealous.

Some of the men cut truly frightening figures of women. At 6-something with an additional 6″ worth of heels, Kevin Wilbanks, who was mocking Cruz, towered above the other mockers as he walked the runway.

However, George Torres who won to the overwhelming approval of the audience gave the best performance.

He danced, he strutted and he did a split that was painful even to watch.

“I feel so wonderful, simply wonderful,” Torres gushed, blowing kisses to the crowd.

All the mockers claimed to have had a great time and thing they survived with their macho reputations mostly intact.

Two of them were slightly worried, however, as they both admitted that they enjoyed themselves just a little too much.

Members of the Cosmetology department painted the majority of the mockers, covering, tugging and pulling them into place.

“We didn’t know whether to shave them or pluck them,” laughed several Cosmetology students. “Even we can’t work miracles sometimes.”

The Mock Rally was a warm-up to highlight the elections this week.

The Homecoming Queen will be chosen by popular student vote this Wednesday and Thursday. The ballots are open from 9 am to 2 PM and again from 6 PM to 9 PM.

Voting is open to all students with a valid Cerritos ID and a current sticker.