Jimmy – Thank God, praise Jesus; the Pope is cool with condoms

Jimmy Edwards-Turner

Many celebrations were had and Catholics all over the world rejoiced when Pope Benedict XVI partially condoned the use of condoms on Nov. 20 in an interview.

The Vatican and Catholic Church have long held their stance on the use of contraceptives but thanks to this slight repeal on the longtime ban, devout believers no longer have to fear for unplanned pregnancies or unexpected cases of chlamydia.

One group of people that is nearly overwhelmed with joy is Latina women between the ages of 14 and 21 years old.

It’s no secret that a large number of Latin-Americans are also Catholics, and Catholicism plays a large role in the culture.

Now these young women don’t have to deal with the persecution of their Catholic families for practicing safe sex since his holiness has shown some leniency toward prophylactics.

Although the Roman Pontiff was strictly speaking about condom use between male prostitutes and their customers to prevent the spread of AIDS, his sincerity could surely apply to these ladies as well.

Girls that could be prime candidates for MTV’s 16 and Pregnant should no longer have to worry about throwing surprise baby showers and settling down before graduating high school.

According to the 2009 Census, 15.8 percent of the United States is Hispanic. That is 48.4 million people, larger than New York and Texas’ populations combined. In addition, the US Conference of Catholic Bishops says more than 35 percent of all Catholics in America are Hispanic.

These numbers show just how many people the Vicar of Christ has hanging on his every word. So it is extremely important that he doesn’t say something stupid.

There are some within the Vatican that are not pleased with what the Pope has said, but their views are stuck in a mire of spiritual stagnation.

What his holiness has done is bring hope for progress in an anachronism of a religious organization.

This tiny step forward may give way to more leniency on some of the Vatican’s more touchy issues and allow Catholics to open their minds to the changing values of the times.

Stem cell research has immense potential to revolutionize medical science, but it is a struggle to conduct due to the religious disapproval that the Church stands for, the Pope upholds, and the congregation adopts.

If an institution influences people’s views on such a serious subject, then it should have more evidence to support its argument than the thousand-year-old beliefs of zealous men.

Millions of people could, and probably would, change their entire perspective on multiple important issues with one sentence from the Pope.

In a time rife with overpopulation, disease, war, apathy and general malice, it is good to know the global leader of the Catholic Church thinks it’s okay for man-whores to use rubbers.

When he officially tells the world that it is fine to get intimate without making a baby, it will be the nicest thing the Pope has ever done for anybody, ever.