Your child is not a weapon and your grudge is pointless

Photo+credit%3A+Carlos+Marquez

Photo credit: Carlos Marquez

Kristopher Carrasco, Online Editor

Sometimes, some parents simply aren’t compatible with one another and it’s a mystery as to how they even thought about having a baby in the first place.

Couples sometimes arrive at the decision to go their separate ways.

The separated parents can end on bad terms and often the children are to suffer the consequences.

Lately, the media has been flooded with stories of parents using their children as pawns in some grudge inspired game.

Parents who have issues with each other need to not use children as weapons for their intrapersonal conflicts; the fate of the child depends on it.

Last week, a Texas father was arrested after confiscating his now 15 -year-old daughter’s cell phone as a punishment for a rude text over a year and a half ago.

The mother of the child had Ronald Jackson arrested for theft, but he was not charged with anything.

There is nothing wrong with punishing your daughter by confiscating her phone and it’s nothing that any parent should get arrested for; it’s just ridiculous.

Most of the time, the child doesn’t even know what the real picture is and just suffers from the battle.

It’s childish and an overall waste of time to continue an ongoing grudge battle.

The relationships that children experience within the first years of their life directly influence the way a child maintains relationships when growing up.

If a child is put in between parental disputes and has no real primary care taker, the child will develop and anxious and ambivalent relationship and will never understand what a healthy relationship feels like therefore paving the way to a future of failed relationships.

Parents who do this are emotionally destroying the children involved.

The amount of issues being displayed on social media showcasing parents parents using their children to get back at one another is disturbing.

Another video surfaced over Facebook of a woman choking a child as a way to get her ex boyfriend’s attention.

This is both ridiculous and alarming.

In a sense it speaks of our society, that videos of such caliber are made and shared through social media.

Although we look in awe and some go as far as to share these videos and stories as novelty, it’s never too late to start making a change.

What if we decided that enough is enough and we stopped sharing videos where children are knowingly being harmed?

Furthermore, what if parents who have split in a non amicable way made a conscious decision to adopt a healthy way of co-parenting.

Maybe attending therapy together or keeping constant communication where both parents agree on how they are going to raise the child, leaving petty antics aside is ideal.

There are healthier ways of dealing with each other that doesn’t damage how your children interact with each other as adults. In engaging in these types of retaliatory behaviors, parents are perpetuating an endless and ultimately vicious cycle.

At some point people have to really stop and look at themselves and question if that’s the person they want to be and if that doesn’t work they have to ask, “Is this the man or woman I want my child to be? To grow up as?”

Our parents live through us, even when they are gone and we hope to carry the best of them into the future.

Our children will remember the best qualities and how we treated each other when things got rough or didn’t work out. It’s something parents forget sometimes and need to be reminded of.