How to survive family toxicity during the holidays


Charles Ellis helps customers Stephen Clark and Melissa Enright of Valley Glen with a Christmas tree they picked out while shopping at Santa & Sons Christmas Trees in Los Angeles’ Sherman Oaks neighborhood. (Mel Melcon/Los Angeles Times/TNS)

Roman Acosta and Fatima Durrani

Politics, left versus right, and all things politically correct: how do you survive the dark side of the family drama during the holiday season. The phrase “don’t talk politics at the dinner table” and how it affects the whole family.

Family gatherings during the holidays can sometimes be a disaster, so who is to blame for when conversations start to heat up involving politics.

Nobody wants to hear your hardcore liberal relative who just won’t stop talking be politically correct about every discussion that comes across the family dinner table or bonfire. Hardcore conservative conspiracy political discussions get old pretty fast as well.

The holidays are to remind us of what’s really important, family. The time of giving and being grateful that you are able to gather up for holidays this time of year rather than worry about a family member who’s practically on life support due to COVID-19.

COVID-19 has shown us how things can drastically change over the course of a year. Traditional family gatherings took a huge hit all across the nation on how they are spent in the COVID-19 era.

So, try to get back to what the true meaning of the holidays were meant to be celebrated, with family.

There are plenty of other topics to discuss with family members besides political mayhem going on in the world.

Sports, entertainment and prior events you accomplished that distant family members didn’t get to hear about throughout the year are always worth the topic of discussion.

The best thing to do this holiday season is to simply be grateful for all that you have and enjoy the moment as nothing in life is guaranteed.

It is always best to stay calm and keep your views out of the equation when such argumentative opinions break out. Being the bigger and more respectful person can mean all the difference before such a catastrophe breaks out.

The COVID-19 pandemic stood to us as a reminder to never take life for granted, and that our loved ones can be snatched from us at any moment, which is why it’s important to avoid tension especially during the holidays.

Toxic family dynamics are a form of mental abuse, and the best way to avoid tension and toxicity with family members would be taking actions such as avoiding political topics, maintaining a calm mindset and distancing yourself when things get heated.

Although the topic of politics for example is interesting to converse about, it can usually lead to verbal or even physical feuds at the dinner table.

People who tend to act irrational and toxic even during the holiday season are oftentimes struggling themselves, so it’s important to try and tune them out. Reminding yourself of the positive attributes even of overly sensitive family members can help prevent a feud.

It’s important to remind yourself that you have no control over another person’s behaviors or actions, and that the more you pay attention or feel furious over one’s stupidity that it’ll end up sparking more fire within you.

If members of the family aim to make a good effort to resolve or even prevent issues from arising, it can make a positive difference in the way a holiday gathering goes.

It’s far too irritating to deal with the stress of toxic family members after going through a pandemic that caused anxiety to go off the charts.

Cutting off toxic family members after their refusal to be confronted would be the last and extreme resort if a toxic family member isn’t willing to change their negative traits. Sometimes it’s the only thing one can do if those member(s) constantly ruin their white Christmas.