Who else can relate and has a significant other that has followed every moment, every album and every aspect of Taylor Swift’s life?
Before I got with my partner, the fandom felt culty and I truly just didn’t get it.
For God’s sake, these people were posting videos of themselves crying when she announced her and Travis Kelce got engaged and you could not scroll past your Instagram stories without seeing it.
Swift fans, Swifties, have a reputation for either being crazy, obsessive or parasocial. But it took a substantial amount of reflection to figure out where that type of thing is rooted.
My partner, who for the purposes of this article goes by Stephanie, added that Swift fans are “very dedicated, smart, crazy and loyal.”
“You want to know everything about your best friend. People honestly believe Taylor Swift is their best friend, they need to know everything about her and feel even closer and more connected to her,” she said.
Stephanie agreed with my claims that it is a parasocial relationship but said that it’s rooted in the music Swift has released and how it connects with her fans.
“She’s just like me,” she said while referencing that connection.
Stephanie added to the idea of how she thinks people perceive Swift and her relationships and how gender norms play a role.
For Swift it’s “she needs to just settle down or whatever,” and for a man who might be writing about his relationships it’s “poor guy can’t find the right girl.”
Swift for the longest time has been a representation for all of those girls. They found comfort and a safe space in her music.
“She vocalizes things that some girls are too afraid to admit for themselves,” Stephanie said.
With the release of her newest album “The Life of a Showgirl”, Swift has finally found that love and her fans are happy that she’s found her happiness and are celebrating her.
In spending more time with Stephanie, I think I’ve fully grasped it.
Interestingly enough, my partner and I made a connection through Swift on our very first date. She spoke about her favorite songs on her favorite Swift album and the connection between songs like “August”, “Betty” and “Cardigan” on “Folklore”.
It was something dear to her and she spoke about it with such excitement and joy for something that truly a lot of people lack in my experience. I wasn’t turned off by the topic and I wasn’t turned off by her.
The first instinct was not to judge someone for the things they enjoy but it was to listen and allow someone, who clearly I was interested in of course, to convey what those feelings give them.
I wasn’t afraid to admit that I just don’t understand it, but what good partners do is be supportive and allow our partners to fully express themselves and never hold back as we all deserve that type of unconditional love.
In my perspective It is no diffrent than the moment you first fell in love with your favorite sport?
We would also all be lying that in this day and age of sports gambling we haven’t also created this sort of parasocial relationship with athletes. You know the nasty things you have said and even the most supportive things.
So, perhaps, we are maybe all a little crazy and should hold a mirror up to ourselves.
It’s all rooted in a deep connection with a person who through their music vocalizes feelings and evokes emotions that you could never express yourself. That person gets you.
“There’s tons of other Swifties that might relate to the same song that you do and there’s community in that,” Stephanie said.
If there was one thing you take away from the Swifties to understand their fandom, Stephanie suggested you just read the lyrics.
“Yes, some of it is very pop and cheesy, correct. But there is a lot of stuff in there that’s really real and raw human emotion. They just literally have to listen, be more open minded if they want to understand,” Stephanie said.
It’s not the most popular stance, but give the people in your life a little bit of grace. We all need it.
