Playing the Game: Move on or hold on?

Kianna Znika and Bianca Hull

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Sometimes playing the game leads to a relationship that’s not so “happily-ever-after.” Now that things are over, a new challenge arises: When is the right time to move on? The answer: when the person feels ready.

It’s a difficult topic, because both sides could be understood: the person moving on; and the person being moved on from.

For the person moving on, they might be feeling a couple of different things. Maybe they’re completely over their ex.

Maybe they want to move on just to finally start getting over their ex. Then, maybe they started developing feelings for someone right after the relationship and it makes them feel guilty. No matter the reason, the fact is that they are moving on.

For the person being moved on from, let’s admit it: it sucks. Maybe they’re over it as well, but if not, they might be feeling hurt and betrayed. They might be thinking things such as “If they really cared about me, how could they move on so fast?”

Everyone has been there at one point. Sometimes, they’ve even been on both sides.

There’s a lot of debate on social media over when a person should move on, leaving some people feeling guilty and confused when new feelings arise.

Internet folk love putting their two cents into every situation they weren’t a part of and acting like they somehow know better than everyone around them.

People that weren’t in the relationship need to stay out of the breakup, and the people going through it need to think for themselves.

They know themselves better than anyone, and if they know that a crush is in development, why would they invalidate that just because of a past relationship that didn’t work out anyway?

The guilt comes from living in the past, and thinking about the relationship they shared with their ex.

Maybe they, too, are starting to feel that this new crush might be taking away from the love and energy they put into the past relationship. Maybe they even feel as if they’re betraying someone that once meant so much.

However, they can still respect their ex and the relationship they shared while still moving on. Some things don’t work out, and that is okay.

They need to realize that the current, long-term relationship they are in is the one that is with themselves, and they are not doing themselves any favors by putting old feelings before their new ones. When people live in the present, the guilt magically goes away.

The freedom to let go and feel joy is allowed. If someone is genuinely leaning toward another person already, their body is telling them to move on. They should go with it. They don’t owe their ex, or anyone, any explanation.

If they’re not ready to move on, though, they shouldn’t feel pressured to do so.

Before downloading Tinder, a person should ask themselves: “Why am I really doing this?” If it’s just because their friends are telling them to, and because the ex they’re still in love with has already been on three dates, maybe it’s not time for them to get back into the game.

Dating and relationships are confusing enough as is, and the most important lesson to learn is that sometimes people really do know themselves better than anyone else.

If they’re ready, they should move on. If not, they should hold on. There’s no time limit when it comes to playing the game.

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