Talon Marks

Playing the Game: Friend or hoe?

Kianna Znika, Staff Writer

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Here is the problem with these self-proclaimed “nice” guys: they befriend certain women with the intention of dating them and then whine, or leave, when they get nothing more than friendship in return.

This has been a known problem in the dating world for many years, but has recently been getting more attention on Twitter. In fact, it has also been brought up in casual conversations more often.

Originally, the annoyances brought up within this “nice guy” situation have been the creation of the “friendzone” and the fact that these grown men truly think their desired person owes them absolutely anything just for being a decent human being.

Now, new points are brought up: these situations make women question new, and current, friendships with members of the opposite sex; and they make women feel as if their friendship isn’t important.

Being friends with members of the opposite sex, of course, is okay. Wanting a friendship with anyone is okay. Especially when the connection’s fun and genuine, nobody should feel like they can’t be friends with a specific person.

Because of this situation, however, some women can’t help but to look at some of their best friends and think: “Are they just trying to date me?”

This mentality leads to lots of awkwardness, and friendships eventually drifting apart.

Even with open discussions and a simple “Are you trying to date me?” there’s a chance that the male friend will now feel awkward and try to pull back so that they don’t give their friend the wrong idea.

Either way, it sucks. The worst part is that it’s nobody’s fault but the “nice” guys in the first place.

To these men who can’t get past the “friend zone,” they think they lost a potential sex partner. To some of the women, however, they’ve lost a friendship that might have meant a lot to them.

To some, they start to feel like they weren’t interesting enough for a genuine friendship in the first place, and like they were just a target.

An important lesson for everyone to learn is that friendship is not always a step below relationship. In fact, sometimes a platonic friendship can be the best type of connection possible between two people.

Self-proclaimed “nice” guys that fake friendship just to try and get with a girl are selfish beings hiding behind sweet gestures, and they don’t deserve the chance for a relationship, because they never deserved the friendship in the first place.

These men need to catch up to the maturity levels of the women in the dating world.

If they want to date someone, they can just ask them out. Getting rejected instantly instead of “wasting time” is better anyway. Right? If they still genuinely want to be the person’s friend, that’s cool. If not, they can take 100 steps back.

There’s no problem with being straightforward and selective, especially when nobody’s being played.

In this dating world, it’s time to be honest about intentions.

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About the Writer
Kianna Znika, Staff Writer

Kianna Znika is a new staff writer for Cerritos College's Talon Marks. Her goal is to transfer back to Cal State Long Beach to study journalism and English,...

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Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.
Playing the Game: Friend or hoe?