“Hornet” fails to deliver

Gonzalo Saucedo

“The Green Hornet” is a poor and seemingly uninspired film, completely devoid of character.

“Hornet” is filled with so much pointless dialogue and so many ludicrous scenarios, that nothing could possibly save it from the depths of the hole it digs itself into.

Seth Rogen co-wrote and starred in this film about a masked vigilante character first created in 1936.

He plays Britt Reid, a rich and spoiled party-boy whose father (Tom Wilkinson) is a millionaire newspaper publisher bent on exposing and abolishing all crime and corruption in Los Angeles.

After his father dies, Reid becomes the head and editor-in-chief of The Daily Sentinel and befriends Kato (Jay Chou), one of his late father’s old employees.

It just so happens, that Kato is an auto mechanic magician and an invincible martial artist.

Together, they proceed to devise the dumbest plan ever: to fight crime while simultaneously… committing it.

Reid retains Rogen’s patented manner of speaking, which is constant shouting for no particular reason.

Reid has nothing intelligent or funny to say through the whole film.  Almost no attempt is made to make his character likable.  I don’t understand it.

Kato undoubtedly drops the best lines in the movie, but that’s mostly just because he says them in a funny accent.

Reid’s pretty secretary, Lenore Case, is played by Cameron Diaz, and serves nothing to the film’s plot.

In any other sub-par film, she’d at least provide some motivation for our hero.  The movie needed a girl, so Diaz was cast so that she could smile at the camera in some shots.

Academy Award winner Christoph Waltz plays crime lord Chudnofsky, and not even he is saved from the movie’s single-dimensionality, as his face barely shifts expression throughout the whole film.

“Hornet’s” action is mindless and painfully tiresome, save for a couple of slow-motion sequences in which Kato beats some thugs up.

Coincidentally, these are also the only scenes in which the 3D is somewhat engaging and not totally futile.

These scarce scenes were the only real entertaining bits of the film.

“Superhero” movies usually adopt a fantastical concept, but they also usually attempt to make it seem real.

This film is just filled with unbelievable and inexplicable situations that I couldn’t help but shake my head at.

It felt like this is what the movie mostly consists of: ridiculous, boring action.

“Hornet” actually takes itself seriously and tries to push a virtuous message across to the audience.

What this message was, I’m not even sure.

The end credits were really cool, though.  Is it sad that this was also the best 3D sequence I saw?  I think so.