Our government expects a lot out of us, and on the whole, we give it to them. This time, however, they’ve gone too far.
Liberal meddling in our lives has reached new levels. As the far left systematically tries to save us poor fools from ourselves, it seems that they have set their sights on our rollercoasters as the latest threat to public safety and civilization as we know it.
If Rep. Ed Markey (D-Mass.) gets his way, there will be a federal committee formed to oversee amusement parks and their thrill rides to ensure that they(the rides) aren’t too intense. The safety of such rides has been brought to debate based on reports of brain damage and fatality blamed on thrill rides.
It is not the freak accidents that the government is concerned about.
No, it is the rides themselves. The government has decided that many of the rollercoasters at theme parks such as Six Flags Magic Mountain are just too dangerous. Mainly, it is reports of long term brain damage received from the rides that has brought them under scrutiny.
Critics of the coasters argue that the G-forces, turns, and accelerations experienced during a ride are simply to intense for the human body, and will likely cause you to become ill or die from a massive brain hemorrhage.
Perhaps it is putting too much faith in our fellow Americans to ask them to look at a ride and decide if they would like to ride it. There is no hidden danger from the coasters, it is simply the motion of the machines that is under attack.
Last June, Walt Disney settled a lawsuit from a woman claiming she received a brain hemorrhage while riding “Indiana Jones”. Anyone who has ridden this tame ride, which incidentally features no sharp turns, G-forces, or acceleration, should be put on their guard by such a suit.
This could only be likened to the elderly woman who won $7 million after placing coffee between her legs, spilling it, and burning her crotch. The money was awarded because the coffee was “too hot” and she did not receive sufficient warning of that fact.
The fact of the matter is, there is already a lengthy list of pre-existing medical conditions posted at the entrance to every ride, including pregnancy, heart-disease, high blood-pressure, epilepsy, etc. which may make the ride unsafe for those afflicted.
At the most, all that need be done is add the words “brain-hemorrhage” to the list, though it goes without saying that if you have history of brain hemorrhages, you probably should refrain from any activity which jostles your skull about in a haphazard fashion. But for those of us with a clean bill of health, these rides bear no risk.
If rollercoasters are to be banned and modified, what next? Shall we let the government strip away from us every freedom which can be viewed as unhealthy?
It’s bad enough the democrats want my cigarettes, my beautiful violent movies, and my guns. Perhaps we should ban junk food and red meat, which are known to cause heart disease, obesity, and even cancer.
Sunlight causes cancer as well, maybe we should limit the amount of time citizens can spend in direct sunlight, lest they stay out to long and burn themselves to a tumurous crisp.
All of these things are more dangerous than rollercoasters, but they are not being attacked.
The reason? If the government imposed it’s will in these matters, the people would not stand for it. This type of meddling is un-called for, ludicrous, and highly un-American. Rollercoasters are no different. It is widely known folk knowledge that everything good in life is either illegal, immoral, or fattening. What happened to common sense?
When I go to an amusement park, I really don’t need Uncle Sam telling me which rides are to intense for me. For heavens sake, people, use your head. Watch a coaster, decide whether not you would like to ride it. But if you brain-hemorrhage happens to pop open while you take a turn on the Viper, don’t ruin it for the rest of us who have been riding and enjoying these coasters for years.
If you still think these rides are unsafe, fine. Don’t ride them! I’m not trying to force Senator Ed Markey onto a rollercoaster, so why is he so hell-bent on forcing me off?
Well, the answer is simply that Ed Markey truly believes that I, and all my other fellow Americans, are too stupid to make an educated decision about a rollercoaster. If there’s a genuine risk, which has not even been proven at this point, post it and move on. Ride at your own risk, that sort of thing.
Common sense, people, that’s all.
Obese people shouldn’t climb mountains, people with bad knees shouldn’t ski, people with epilepsy shouldn’t scuba dive, and people with pre-disposition to brain-hemorrhages shouldn’t ride massive rollercoasters, and neither should Ed Markey.
The federal government was not established to save us from our stupid selves. It exist to protect our freedoms. If I choose to commit suicide by Montezuma’s Revenge, then so be it. I’m an American and that is my right. Don’t like it? Don’t ride it.
