Harsh realities of being a girl

Both: Hey guys!

Susan: Welcome back to another episode with the comadres.

Diana: In today’s episode, we’re going to be talking about the scary reality of being a girl.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: Cause, ooh, it’s scary out here.

Susan: No, it really is. I feel like any girl can have a variety of stories of just like random little things happening to them, just on one single day.

Diana: No, for sure. I feel like, I don’t know, like even as little as when I get to a parking lot, I look around my surroundings. And I even like, no matter if I’m with a guy, like my guy friends, girl friends, whatever, I feel like the first thing I automatically do is like look over my shoulder. And it’s scary, like I feel like I have to do that.

Susan: Literally, just cause we’re girls.

Diana: Yeah. Just cause like, I don’t know, I feel like someone’s always going to be there or something.

Susan: Yeah! I know, that reminds me of that time when I was coming out of work, and it was around this time already when, by 6pm, it’s already like pitch dark.

Diana: Mhm.

Susan: So I’m walking to my car, and all of a sudden I hear like these little footsteps running up behind me, and I get scared. And I’m already like close to my car, I wanna say maybe like three steps away and I’m about to unlock it, but because I hear the steps, I don’t do anything, I just turn around. And it’s just this little ass boy, and he just comes up to me, and he’s just kinda staring at me, looking around. And I’m kinda scared, because I’m just like, oh like, what if he’s with somebody and they’re like, I don’t know, he’s like waiting for them, or I don’t know, so I was getting super freaked out. And then all of a sudden he comes a little bit closer and he’s like, my friends wanted me to ask you if you wanted to go out with me.

Diana: What?

Susan: Yeah.

*Laughter*

Susan: He’s like in middle school, he’s like 12.

Diana: Bye.

Susan: And he’s a scrawny little thing. So I’m just like, I start freaking cracking up and I’m just like, you scared the shit out of me. I’m like, don’t do that. I was like, don’t be running up on girls in the parking lot. But then I just got into my car and I was like, bye.

Diana: I’m glad you told him that.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: Because no, you can’t be doing that. Especially because like you said, like you don’t know if he was with somebody. I feel like right now in this like time that we’re in, there’s a lot of sex trafficking going on.

Susan: And they’ll use anybody bitch.

Diana: Yes!

Susan: Women and kids, like it’s scary.

Diana: It is scary. That reminds me of a time I was at, over here at Cerritos mall. I was on my own like shopping and 2 girls came up to me really sus. They were like “Hey, can we borrow your phone like we’re alone.” And like I don’t know I felt like eerie like it was just a weird situation cause they were like kind of like, I don’t know, it didn’t seem genuine like I don’t know how to describe it. But it just didn’t seem genuine to me cause if not I would have like, I’m a girl’s girl. I would have let someone like you know but it just seemed like, I don’t know, something about the situation made it seem like fishy. And then like they kind of changed the subject, like it derailed and they didn’t need my phone anymore. They’re like “Actually do you want to hang out with us? like do you want to like come with us?” And I was like “no,” and I lied I said I was going to meet up with a friend cause I didn’t want them to know I was alone either.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: So I guess like I immediately like was like, “Oh no, like I’m meeting up with my friend like I’m actually on my way to go meet her.” And then like I don’t know like they were kind of like giggling and being like I don’t know.

Susan: Just weird…

Diana: It was just a really weird situation that made me think like, oh, what if they were trying to like, what if I did go hang out with them and they like ended up luring me to go like with some man or something, I don’t know.

Susan: No and I had seen like tweets I feel like around Cerritos mall about sex trafficking happening around over there. It’s really scary. I feel like we should not be alone by ourselves. And I used to do that.

Diana: That’s sad!

Susan: No, literally, because I used to like doing that, but even then I feel like that’s when I learned how to like…

Both: Be more aware.

Susan: Yeah, I feel like even with my boyfriend, like I love my boyfriend, I’m not trying to bash him or anything. I feel like if worst comes to worst, I know he’ll protect me, right? But I noticed when we started going out that when we get into the car, and we already arrived to the place, and he parks the car and it unlocks right? He doesn’t end up locking the doors again. I’m just like as a girl, that’s the first thing I do like I parked my car and I lock it again because I’m not trying to be there unsafe. And I told him about it, he’s just like, “Well I just don’t think about locking the doors, like it’s just not on my mind.”

Diana: It’s an instinct huh. It’s just like an instinct for us.

Susan: Yeah, I’m just like cause you’re a man! I’m just like you’re not scared about like, I don’t know I guess somebody coming and taking you out your car but I feel like even as a guy he should be. Like there’s crazy people out there.

Diana: There is crazy people.

Susan: It does not matter, guy or girl.

Diana: It does not cause yeah they’ll get you if they want to get you. If they’re preying on you, they’re gonna get you.

Susan: Literally. And I was like… nevermind.

*Laughter*

Diana: Say it, say it! No I’m just kidding.

*Laughter*

Susan: No, I just used X as an example. Like I know he’s a celebrity and all.

Diana: No but yeah that’s true.

Susan: But they literally shot him in his car. Like it’s just scary.

Diana: You can never know. Like this also reminds me, like I used to work at Curacao right there in South Gate.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: There was this man, like he would come in and he said that he had a business. I remember he gave me a business card, but he would go in there specifically to look for this one girl. This, one of my old co-workers. And he would call her like by her name and be like, “oh where is she at?” And we would have to like, once we saw like coming through the double doors, we would be like, go hide. Even if she was, and we would be like, she doesn’t work here. We would have to lie and he would like, I feel like he would know that we were lying and he would still like come I guess like the next week. And it’s like, oh, like you can never know with these men, like what if like he happened to come the day that she was working and she was off and like, he could have gotten her in the parking lot. And it’s just creepy, like why are you looking for her? Why are you actively looking for her?

Susan: Ew dude that reminds me, one of my coworkers. Ugh, she had this really, really, really crazy boyfriend they were like fighting and one day she just comes in like crying and running into the store.

Diana: That’s so scary.

Susan: And it freaks me out, like my heart drops.

Diana: No yeah.

Susan: Like she’s crying and I’m like what the fuck like something happened like something happened.

Diana: The fear.

Susan: And tell me why it’s about her man and he comes into the store like looking for her and he’s like “Let’s talk, let’s talk,” and she’s like “No like I’m already clocked into work, I can’t talk to you anymore.”

Diana: That’s too much.

Susan: Yeah and then he starts telling her like why are you acting like a bitch? Like dude

Diana: *Gasp* In front of everyone?

Susan: In front of everybody, there was patients right there already waiting to go see the doctor too.

Diana: Nah, you can’t do that.

Susan: Yeah, dude, he was scary. He looked like crazy, like his eyes, he looked like he was out of it. Like either he was really mad or he was on something, like just something that he was just like…

Diana: Shaking?

Susan: Like raged out, yeah. I was super scared, I was like, “Oh my god, what do we do?” And at my job, bitch, we only work like, girls, we have no guys working there.

Diana: So what did you guys do?

Susan: We called the police.

Diana: Did they show up?

Susan: Yeah, but like, I want to say maybe like 10 minutes later, they did show up. And they took him away. And he was maybe in jail for like that day, and they let him go the next day.

Diana: That’s scary.

Susan: It was crazy.

Diana: Ugh, that is so, for them to follow her to work, that’s too much. Like, OK, you have your issues, deal with that at home. And actually, no, good thing she wasn’t even at home, cause who knows what would happen if he’s with that much rage to be in public in front of her job.

Susan: And not feel fucked for real, like just…

Diana: Yeah, no. Imagine what happens behind closed doors.

Susan: No, literally. She was going through it. And dude she was only 19.

Diana: That’s so sad.

Susan: Like it’s crazy, like you’re so young to be going through something like that.

Diana: No, yeah that’s so traumatic, too.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: Being a girl, it’s like, I don’t know, it’s difficult.

Susan: It’s crazy. And it’s like, it was even her own boyfriend. Even then, I feel like you really can’t even be too..

Both: Trusting.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: It is scary like, even on campus. I’ve had my stalker here.

Susan: Mhm!

Diana: I’m like you were around, I don’t know if you remember or not.

Susan: I’m like, no not really!

*Laughter*

Diana: I’m like, story time! Ew, it’s just weird. I had this guy for my class and he used to sit two rows in front of me, never paid attention to him. Then one random day he comes up to me and he’s like asking me about the homework assignment, didn’t think much of it. Cause i’m like, he’s in my class like it’s bound to happen you know? Didn’t think much of it. After that class, he like walks with me, and I’m kind of like, mm, I don’t know, I overthink, so I was like, kind of weird, like we don’t really talk for him to be following me. He starts asking me questions, he’s like, this is what made it weird, he’s like, “Oh, so is your boyfriend picking you up? Is he gonna come get you?” And I was like, no…

Susan: Like trying to find out if you had a man.

Diana: Yeah, so I was like, “No, like I don’t have a boyfriend, I’m actually waiting for my mom to come get me.” And then mans has the audacity to invite me over to his house to go eat. Cause he knew I had a gap, cause I guess he was already watching me.

Susan: Ew, yeah.

Diana: And so I was like, “Um no, like I’m actually going to meet up with some friends.” And it was with Susan and some other person.

*Laughter*

Susan: No names!

Diana: No names! And so then we went to, I kind of just like, minded my business, whatever, walked away. And so that same day, I go to the cafeteria here on campus, and I’m about to order. Susan’s sitting at the cafeteria already with our other old friend. And I’m kind of like eyeing them, and I’m kind of like glad that I see them there, because I was like, oh, OK, like, you know, this guy stopped following me, whatever. So again, not thinking much of it, ordering my food. And then this man comes from behind me, and he’s like, “Oh, are you following me?” And I was like…

Susan: *Gasps* Shut the fuck up!

Diana: Yeah!

Susan: Dude why don’t I remember that?

Diana: Yeah, you guys were already sitting down that’s why. I was in line to order my food. But yeah, he like tells me, he’s like, “Oh, are you following me?” And I was like, huh? And I don’t even find it funny. So I’m like, “No, I’m like you’re following me. I was here first.”

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Susan: Mhm.

Diana: And so then, again, he tries inviting me over to his house. He’s like, oh, you don’t… No, first he invites me to Chipotle across the street. He’s like, “Have you tried Chipotle?” I was like, “no.” And I’m like, “and I don’t want to.”

*Laughter*

Diana: And then he’s like, “Oh, what about In-N-Out?” And he was just trying to get me off campus.

Susan: To go out, yeah.

Diana: I don’t know. And I was like, “No, I don’t want that,” whatever. I just kept saying, no, no, no, I don’t want to do this with you. And so I was like, my friends are sitting right there. And I pointed like into your guys’ general direction. And he was like, “Oh, okay.” So like that happened. And then the next day, like I said, he was sitting two rows in front of me. The person next to me ended up dropping the class and he starts sitting there.

Susan: *Gasps* Nooo.

Diana: And he would like sit next to me every class and he would like inch like more.

Susan: Closer.

Diana: Yeah, and so then I would inch closer to the guy next to me on the other side. And I kind of told him like what happened, the situation. So he like was understanding, like he didn’t mind. So he would kind of scoot. So we would basically, we would be in one desk together.

Susan: Mhm, yeah.

Diana: And so again, like that would happen. Like he would follow me around campus. And like, again, I had my gap period. So I would go to the library near my gap. And then all of a sudden I would see him. Like he would show up and he would just stare at me. And it got to the point where other people were noticing.

Susan: He was being weird.

Diana: Yeah, I had my friend Robert, he also had the gap period.

Susan: Oh my god, I remember that guy.

Diana: Yeah. My friend Robert, like we would both like meet up at the library. Like we would kind of, we wouldn’t even talk, we would just kind of in each other’s company or whatever. We would do homework or like just talk. And he started noticing this stalker like come. And he would be like, “Oh he’s just staring at us. Like he’s just looking at us. Like, he’s looking at you.”

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: And he would have this mad expression.

Susan: Ew, that you were with Robert.

Diana: Yeah. And it’s like, who are you?

Susan: Yeah…

Diana: Like, why are you looking? Like, we were like, I don’t know. It was just very creepy. And he would always tell me, like, oh, like ask for my number, like my Instagram. And I would have to lie and be like I don’t have Instagram, cause I didn’t want to give it to him.

Susan: What would you do for your number?

Diana: I just would say no. Like, I don’t give it out. And he would like, he looked mad. He never like crossed any boundaries like I guess like being like aggressive with it.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: But it was just like he was always around the corner.

Susan: That’s scary.

Diana: And like no matter what and I think it lasted all semester. And then I heard from other girls, to them it was actually way worse cause he would actually follow, like walk them to their car. And like they would be like it’s okay like I don’t want this and he would still like walk them to the car and it’s like if girls are telling you they don’t want it, listen.

Susan: Yeah dude.

Diana: We don’t want unwanted attention.

Susan: I wonder what goes through their brains, like why do you not think? Like why do you think we like to be followed?

Diana: It’s just creepy, like who likes being followed? No guys like to be followed either.

Susan: What about that is being nice like…

Diana: Yeah, I think that’s the mentality. They think they’re being, THEY think they’re being genuine and nice, but it’s like, okay, no, like we don’t know you.

Susan: We think you’re weird, yeah.

Diana: And then they get mad cause they think they’re weird.

Susan: Mhm!

Diana: But yeah, I did have a conversation.

Susan: But that’s what people mean by clingy and annoying.

Diana: Mm-hmm. No, yeah, cause I did have a conversation with two other girls from my class. Cause it started getting to a point where I was like, okay, this is too much. Like, I’m seeing him everywhere. And I think he even ended up dropping the English class himself, but he would still be at the library right there. And like, a couple seats from me, just watching.

Susan: Eww.

Diana: And like, not even pretend. Like, he’ll have his laptop up. Not even looking at the laptop, just glaring at me and Robert.

Susan: Eww.

Diana: I was like, what? Can I fucking help you? Like what are you fucking staring at?

*Laughter*

Diana: Ughh, like now I’m angry. Back then I was more scared. I’m like, bitch, what the fuck?

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: But, yeah, it’s weird. Like don’t do that.

Susan: That is weird. What ended up happening with him? He just…

Diana: He just, I don’t know, I never after like uh…

Susan: Like the semester ended or whatever?

Diana: Yeah after the semester ended, I don’t think I ever saw him. And I honestly would have that kind of fear like the next semester.

Susan: That you’d see him again.

Diana: I’m scared to see him like…

Susan: Yeah…

Diana: I don’t know like luckily I had like Robert who he was a tall guy.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: So like I don’t know if he was intimidating, but like if I was alone like who’d know like, I don’t know.

Susan: He’d probably come up to you all the time, like if you were by yourself.

Diana: No. Yeah, he probably would have like… Ugh it’s just ugly.

Susan: Mhm, boys are just weird. Of all ages.

Diana: Mhm. It’s just unwanted intention, attention I mean.

Susan: Yeah, no it really is.

Diana: Like someone’s asking you, like, hey, don’t do this, just don’t do it. Cause then you, like, I feel like they try to paint us as a bad guy, be like, oh, but I’m so nice, but I’m this and that. And it’s like, yeah, you are nice, but we told you we didn’t want it.

Susan: So get the hint!

Diana: So, go along your day, like, beat it. Keep it pushing, I don’t know.

*Laughter*

Diana: Cause then, yeah like, I feel like they like to victim, victim, victim. Susan: They do, oh my god, this just reminded me of this one time.

*Laughter*

Susan: Oh my god. I’ve known him since middle school, but I wouldn’t say we’re friends, I just knew of him, whatever, whatever. And one day he messages me, he’s talking about how he comes to this school too, and whatever, we’re catching up. And he starts sending me about like, stuff that’s going on with his life, you know, like sad little stuff.

Diana: Oh, yeah…

Susan: I’m like trying to comfort him, whatever, I’m trying to be a good person.

Diana: Mhm.

Susan: And then all of a sudden, he starts messaging me every day. I kind of understand whatever. I’m trying to message back, trying to be a little bit supportive still. But then it starts to feel like he’s just trying to flirt with me.

Diana: Oh…

Susan: Like he’s trying to take me out. And he asked me, what’s my schedule, and all that stuff. And I was like, mm. It was getting out of hand, so I stopped like replying little by little. But he kept spamming me with messages. And then one day, he sent me a text, and he was just like, basically telling me how dare I not respond back to his messages when he’s just trying to be nice to me or whatever. He’s like,you’re like, he’s trying to make it seem like I’m taking it out of context like he’s not trying to be flirty or whatever. But I was just like well, I’m feeling uncomfortable with the situation. Like I just don’t want to reply back like mm hmm.

Diana: No, yeah.

Susan: And so then he got really mad and I had to block him cause he like kept going. Like he would just send me like a fat paragraph after paragraphs dude.

Diana: *Gasps*

Susan: I’m like I don’t even know you! I haven’t even seen you in person since like we were 10 bitch, stop talking to me.

Diana: That is so crazy.

Susan: Yeah. I’m like, why did you get entitled to my time? I was just trying to be nice to you.

Diana: Yeah, you didn’t even have to reply the first time.

Susan: Literally! I’m like that’s what I get for being nice to a man. First of all, uh-uh.

*Laughter*

Diana: Honestly, yeah, cause you play therapist, they’re going to be like, oh, I want them.

Susan: Yeah, no, literally.

Diana: Yeah, you can’t do that cause, um,

Susan: My mistake.

*Laughter*

Susan: Never again, bitch!

Diana: That’s so sad, too.

Susan: I know.

Diana: No, you know what, that reminded me of some guys from high school I wonder if you know him. Like I don’t want to say names or nothing

Susan: Say it!

*Laughter*

Diana: You know what I should! His name’s..

Susan: No wait…

Diana: You’re like, “no.”

Susan: Wait what did he look like?

Diana: I think like he’s like… I know he’s Hispanic but he looks White.

Susan: I feel like I do.

Diana: He’s weird.

Susan: Yeah?

Diana: We’re gonna bleep this out but…

Susan: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Diana: No like he would, he tried contacting me and he would be so aggressive with it like cause I wouldn’t reply and I’d be like ‘leave me alone’ and he would just kind of talk shit to me. I know he’s done it to like multiple of other girls like *blank.*

Susan: I’m dead!

Diana: And like he gives these girls money for their attention. And like then he gets mad when they don’t reply and like you willingly did that.

Susan: For real.

Diana: Like you did that.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: They did not log into your fucking cash app and…

Susan: Give us money.

Diana: Yeah, you did that for their attention.

Susan: That’s crazy.

Diana: And then he cries like… Yeah like I blocked him like maybe two times and he made a new Instagram, tried messaging me. Same with Twitter, I had to block him on Twitter. And he randomly followed me on Instagram the other, not the other day maybe like a month ago.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: And blocked him, like he took his request back. Like I saw the username and it clicked cause like it was really like in my dms all the time so I was like ew.

Susan: Yeah you just know, yeah.

Diana: And same with Twitter like he would reply to all my tweets and I didn’t follow him so I didn’t know like who was replying to my tweets. Cause you know how it shows you like one thing.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: So I was like I don’t know who that is. Until like he dmed me and he was like “Oh, why aren’t you answering me?” And I was like who the fuck are you?

Susan: Ew, yeah.

Diana: And then he like told me who he was and yeah, sending me paragraphs like of why I’m not replying. It’s just like, bro, are you not embarrassed?

*Laughter*

Susan: Yeah!

Diana: It literally comes to that. Do you not have no pride? Are you not embarrassed? Like why are you begging for attention? Like who’s not giving you attention at home? Like go get it from the.

*Laughter*

Diana: Literally, your mom. Go.

Susan: Go cry over there! Go ask for your mom a hug, geez!

Diana: But yeah, no, I don’t know what that’s about.

Susan: Mm no me either. You think maybe like, trauma fucked them up or something? Cause I don’t know…

Diana: It’s a little scary.

Susan: I don’t get why people get weird.

Diana: And it doesn’t even have to be weird like that.

Susan: It doesn’t.

Diana: Like you could just respect someones…

Susan: Boundaries.

Diana: Yeah, cause it goes both ways too.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: Like don’t get me wrong girls could also cross guys boundaries. And I feel like guys, I don’t know it’s more difficult for them too, to like kind of, I don’t know if to distinguish them or to like set them.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: But I feel like even then they could have little weird stalkers too.

Susan: Yeah, that’s true.

Diana: Like those crazy ex-girlfriends.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: Oh, have you seen those girls who throw tantrums?

*Laughter*

Susan: *Gasps* No, I haven’t. Where?

Diana: I saw this girl on Twitter. I guess her boyfriend, her ex-boyfriend recorded her like they broke up.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: And she was literally like kicking the dashboard like I don’t know. It was just too much, like you could, I don’t know. You should just have never let…

Susan: Ew, those videos give me the ick.

Diana: You should just never let a person take that much power from you.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: Like it’s just not okay.

Susan: It’s never that serious. I’m sorry like…

Diana: It isn’t, ugh.

Susan: You’ll find somebody new if you’re breaking up with them like that’s the issue.

Diana: No, yeah. Ugh, being a girl is scary.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: I feel like there’s just so much that we have to worry about nowadays with our surroundings, even like the Ai thing we were talking about in class today.

Susan: Mhm!

Diana: You haven’t seen the Taylor Swift stuff huh?

Susan: No, I really haven’t.

Diana: I honestly hope she fucking sues.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: Cause it’s just so much sexualization with us, like we can’t even go out, walk around our neighborhood cause we’re scared.

Susan: Mhm, and it’s just a crazy thought for real like how you’re saying with the Ai, I’m sorry, about how like they can for real just make up any pictures of us with the ones that we have online.

Diana: Mhm.

Susan: Like just whatever, that’s crazy.

Diana: I hope there’s like a law that passes or something.

Susan: For that.

Diana: Cause it’s not…

Susan: Cause it’s not safe.

Diana: It isn’t like it’s disgusting and I feel like that can make a person go even crazier. Be like, “Oh, this is what they’re going to look like.”

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: I don’t know, I feel like people are just that dumb and naive that they’re like, “Oh.”

Susan: Yeah, they’ll think for real that that’s what it’s going to look like.

Diana: Yeah, so it’s just like, it’s just weird. Weird times that we’re in.

Susan: For real, ugh, I wish we lived with only women.

*Laughter*

Diana: I know. Dude have you seen that tweet that men need to start their life in jail and prove their way out?

*Laughter*

Susan: Yes! And they should.

Diana: Cause like ugh, I don’t know. Like there is good men out there. I’m glad there is but like I don’t know.

Susan: My man!

Diana: My man too!

*Laughter*

Diana: I’m like, ugh, good, respectful man.

Susan: For real.

Diana: They’re out there.

Susan: I was going to say that about my boyfriend like that’s the one thing that I feel like I ended up liking about him because when we first started talking like he wasn’t weird like that.

Diana: Mhm.

Susan: I feel like guys always make it like about wanting to have sex or like, you know?

Diana: Mhm they do.

Susan: And I feel like he never did. I feel like he never pushed that on me like we always just kept it like cute, you know?

Diana: Yeah.

Susan: It was always like innocent, yeah. And I feel like that’s what I really liked about him like he just wasn’t forcing me to do anything like that.

Diana: Yeah, that’s how I feel like it should be. Like starting off as friends, getting to know each other.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: That’s what me and my boyfriend did too and I’m glad we did.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: Cause if not, like you said, people who come off strong, they’re scary. Like they’ll fucking, you’ll scare someone away like rightfully so.

Susan: Yeah.

Diana: Don’t do that.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: Ugh, wow. This is the longest…

Susan: Dude that’s how you know it’s a big issue cause look at how long this podcast is.

Diana: I know! Eighteen minutes.

*Laughter*

Diana: Going on nineteen and we could still keep going.

Susan: No we really can. It’s crazy.

Diana: But yeah, it’s just literally the littlest things too.

Susan: Mhm.

Diana: I’m like, uh.