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Bianca Bitches: how to find self-peace

TM Photo credit: Carlos Martinez & Carlos Ruiz

TM Photo credit: Carlos Martinez & Carlos Ruiz

Bianca Martinez, Editor in chief

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For some people, it comes naturally to love and accept themselves, but for others self-love is a winding and rocky journey they have to embark on in order to achieve that state of being.

Self-hate isn’t always crying in front of a mirror and banging your head on the glass, it can be self-deprecating humor, self-destructive tendencies, associating with those who put you down or putting yourself down constantly for no reason at all.

Keep in mind that everyone has a personal bill of rights, including yourself.

This set of rights are helpful if you are a people-pleaser or just need a reminder to focus on yourself and put your best interests forward.

You deserve the right to be happy. You deserve the right to be comfortable in your own skin.

With that being said, be comfortable being on your own, though it may help at times you don’t need someone else to be at peace with yourself.

Ultimately you are in charge of your own self-peace, hence the word self. You are not a stranger to yourself, you are not that creepy guy on the bus that incites anyone on the bus into uncomfortable conversation, you are you, plain and simple.

You have nothing to be afraid of, you are not alone, just independent. Being comfortable with being alone with yourself is a path to self-love.

As cheesy as this may sound, leave inspiring and encouraging notes where you can see them.

Go to our lord and savior, the almighty Google, and find quotes that work for you and print them out or write them on a sticky note and stick them to your mirror.

If you have a hard time believing that you are beautiful or smart, or any other adjective that you don’t think describes you, just repeat your chosen phrase to yourself whenever you need it.

Especially before you go to sleep and when you wake up, this little trick can help change your negative view into a positive one. The more you hear the phrase, the more you believe it.

Meditation can be another way to help condition your negative state of mind into a positive one.

Not sure how to meditate? Book stores, libraries and YouTube are places to start.

Low self-esteem can sometimes be attributed to an abusive childhood, it helps to speak with a therapist about your past experiences and how they have affected you and your self-esteem.

Based on your situation your therapist should then be able to suggest exercises to help reach self-peace.

Another suggestion to achieve self-discovery is to try something you have never done before or something that you have always wanted to do.

Now when I say try “something that you have always wanted to do,” I don’t mean go and seek out an opium den, I mean go and put on that cute Forever 21 crop top you bought ages ago but were to self-conscious to put on.

Do something empowering for yourself, you and your self-esteem deserve it.

If you ever find yourself in a rut and in need of a get-away, then go away.

Sometimes a change of scenery is just what the doctor ordered if you are feeling too on edge.

So pack your copy of “On The Road” and explore America or Europe, wherever your piggy bank will allow you to go.

Speaking of books, you are not the first and the last to experience low self-esteem and difficulty at being at peace with yourself, it helps to read books by authors who have experienced what you are currently.

Even reading a self-help book can help you on your path to self-discovery.

No-one expects you to love yourself overnight.

Depending on your past experiences, it can be a long arduous process just know that you are in charge of setting the pace, you can do it.

You will eventually come to love yourself just as much as your close friends and family love you.

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1 Comment

One Response to “Bianca Bitches: how to find self-peace”

  1. Cynthia on June 27th, 2018 5:43 pm

    I love the advice you give, I’m never disappointed reading another Bianca Bitches. Keep being you.

If you want a picture to show with your comment, go get a gravatar.




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Bianca Bitches: how to find self-peace