Talon Marks

The Envelope: Chump Trump voters should slump over and cry

Benjamin Garcia

January 18, 2018

Going through the Twitter hashtag "#MAGA," you might come across such mind-numbing proclamations of stupidity as these:   I apologize Africa isn't a shit hole country🤣 "Haiti and African" #MAGA #Norway pic.twitter.com/vJNFMIUehw — 🇺🇸 USA OVER PARTY (@michaelbeatty3) January 11, 2018 Clean up this mess and we can build the best wa...

The Envelope — Net neutrality can lead to revolution

Benjamin Garcia

December 4, 2017

The people of the United States of America deserve free, socialized internet access. Talon Marks editors and staff writers have elected to publish moderate and lukewarm opinions revolving around the simple notion that the internet should not be censored or controlled in any way that gives large, evil corporations a business advantage. Due to this week's print edition being the final ...

The Envelope — Love & Sex: Communist fornication manifesto

Benjamin Garcia

September 9, 2017

For some time now, the communist publication, Workers Vanguard has been on campus spreading pamphlets and taking subscriptions. The front page for No. 1116 distributed on Aug. 25, 2017 featured some pictures from the Charlottesville march and counter protest while they reported stories such as the escalating situation in North Korea, leftists tearing...

The Envelope: 3 ways to beat the bum-fiddling this new school year

Benjamin Garcia

September 2, 2017

We've come to the point where the sinking feeling in our guts that tells us summer is almost gone increases in weight. On Mondays, there is an Autumn crisp -- though by Friday it's 95 degrees Fahrenheit and we are all walking around essentially naked to escape heat exhaustion. Many of us are coming back from epic vacations; while others have been...

The Envelope: Trump transgresses against transgender rights

Benjamin Garcia

August 8, 2017

With three tweets, the leaders of the largest employer in the nation tried to lay-off trans military people to the tune of an estimated 1,320 to 6,630 members in active duty and between 830 and 4,160 members in reserves duty. Undemocratically elected president Donald Trump lamely explaining that this decision has been arrived at after consulting with "his" "gene...

The Envelope: There is nothing kind about being “nice”

Benjamin Garcia

July 25, 2017

False sincerity is the ugliest thing two people can share that doesn't involve the mass killing of a people based on religion, race, economic class, sexual orientation, etc. Allow me to explain: James C. Collins says "good is the enemy of great." Voltaire says "perfect is the enemy of good." *Oprah Voice* So what's the truth? Consider this...

The Envelope: God hates Republicans

Benjamin Garcia

June 29, 2017

Conservatives are America's cancer. Sidenote: With the proposed budget throwing elderly people off of health insurance, we are bound to see more and more of these declining conservatives who sit in-front of their TV, eating microwaved TV dinners -- which contain carcinogenic GMOs -- developing cancer and dying. Republicans will soon be extinct like...

The Envelope: What would Robespierre say?

Benjamin Garcia

May 31, 2017

"The secret of freedom lies in educating people, whereas the secret of tyranny is in keeping them ignorant," said the incorruptible leader of the French Revolution Maximilien François Marie Isidore de Robespierre.Education Secretary Betsy DeVos testified in front of Congress on matters related to education rights. Congresswoman Catherine Clark of ...

The Envelope: Good luck, graduates

Benjamin Garcia

May 10, 2017

As summer approaches, many students crawl ever closer to their impending graduation dates. Many have spent their entire academic career for this moment, high school graduation is no substitute for getting to toss the cap of a college or university they are proud to call their alma mater.Young, educated minds grasp at their diplomas tentatively as they f...

The Envelope: Online Etiquette (for Dummies)

Benjamin Garcia

May 3, 2017

I may be a dirty, disgusting communist, but I know a thing or two about refinement-- especially online refinement.For example, you will look like a cretin if you creep onto someone's Facebook wall and try to start a cussing match-- especially if the recipient party does not reciprocate or respond.Everyone will think you are simple if you show that yo...

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