The Envelope: Not a misanthrope, just pissed off

Benjamin Garcia

Aren’t people the worst? The way they harass you in the street is deplorable; and the way they make you pay for things you want, it’s intolerable!

Remind people that you believe in “forced social communalism” often and loud. The louder the better.

I don’t like people much, and I know I’m not alone in that. Don’t you get pleasantly weirded out when you find that a person who you don’t consider a friend as much as an acquaintance calls you a pal? It’s nice to have a surprise-friend.

When someone likes me and I like them back, I’m positively elated; and I’m glad to be in a sort of mutual interest with someone worth dating!

My therapist knows that I’m bored of people and the way they self-sabotage by labeling themselves; and the way they assign emotional importance to things that turn out to be quite petty.

She asks if I see much worth in people — I say I do, just not in some of the ones around me. People should have access to basic human rights such as food, water, shelter, clothing, education, transportation, etc.; what they don’t have is the right to PISS ME OFF!

Why do people think that they can educate you on things you are clearly better than them at?

My friend, who is a Mexican immigrant, has a white roommate who tried to correct his Spanish. She thought she had the credentials having taken two years of Spanish.

You can’t blame people for not knowing that they’re average.

Why do people insist on cluttering themselves with junk? Why do they need to collect figurines? (How embarrassing, though.)

Why do they get up in your business and why do they give their opinions without you asking for them? Moms, am I right?

Perhaps moms and people tell you what to do because they love you. Maybe all the times people have sent you screenshots of Spotify songs at two o’clock in the morning, that is them trying to build a relationship.

I’m perusing an occupation that I don’t need “people skills” for, I’m majoring in Troll Studies (a new department on campus). I just want to live under my bridge, ask my riddles three and eat the occasional donkey.

However, I understand people and their motives.

It’s sad that the United States is rich enough to fund wars but poor enough to not take care of it’s veterans and their mental health needs. You would think the suicide rate among military officers which, according to is 19 for those in active duty and 36 for veterans per 100,000, was a joke. The U.S. can spend to rebuild other nations where it’s own poverty-stricken soldiers go to war — next, we should go to war with Flint, Michigan; they need water there!

It’s sad how people come to this country to make a better life for themselves, leaving their homelands (often times, homelands that are ravaged by the transgressions of the corporate overlords) and are instantly treated as animals or worse by law enforcement, the media and their fellow man.

Immigration and Customs Enforcement (I.C.E.) is detaining the undocumented selectively — meaning that if an undocumented person is a Trump critic, I.C.E. will be hunting them down like quail.

If an undocumented person gets a ticket for j-walking, hasta la vista — quite literally, the journey back to the U.S. is dangerous but necessary for many who are deported.

Do not be suckered into believing that there is a leftist media. Remember how they treated comrade Bernie? The media’s portrayal of immigrants — all immigrants, not just the undocumented ones — is worse.

A new study from Western University suggests that the news media plays a large role in dehumanizing immigrants globally. This puts all immigrants at a higher risk of violence — which leads fascists to treat their foreign neighbors the way Dodgers fans treat their dogs when the Angels win. An after-thought: Is that where you get the term “dodger dog?”

The workplace is where undocumented immigrants are treated the worst. First of all, they are often paid slave wages — except generally, slaves get housing. So, employers are equating undocumented immigrants to beef cattle waiting to be slaughtered by the cold machinery of capitalism. Being a milk cow is much worse. Sometimes the undocumented are forced into human trafficking.

I guess I’m not so much against people existing as people being ignorant of these issues and thus perpetuating them.

In January 2016, ESPN sent out a memo telling commentators to “lay off politics.”

When football players were not standing for the pledge of allegiance, Disney quieted down commentators on ESPN and cordially told them where they could put their political opinions.

Virtually no one cared. Virtually no one said a word in defense of freedom of speech.

Meanwhile, Disney allowed ESPN contributor and former NFL coach Mike Dikta to tell protesters to “get the hell out” (before he was eventually fired for tweeting Islamophobic memes) and kept Stephen A. Smith after he brutally slammed Colin Kaepernick for not voting, on CNN.

Every time the Keystone Pipeline gets pushed a little further — there are an enlightened few who notice, the rest of the world doesn’t care.

So, when will the sheep learn? Enough people are speaking up to teach the ignorant, but the ignorant are willfully so. You have the choice to be one or the other in this age of endless information at your fingertips; and because of this intellectual advantage, who wouldn’t be annoyed by people right now?