‘Cabin in the Woods’ puts audiences to sleep

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Diyah Pera

Kristen Connolly stars in “The Cabin in the Woods.” (Diyah Pera/Lionsgate/MCT)

“Cabin in the Woods” is incredibly cheesy. Other than the gore factor, even a person who is easily terrified by horror movies could sit through this movie without breaking a sweat.

The most thrilling part of the movie was at the very beginning when the audience gets a quick boost of adrenalin by the sudden unexpected flash of the title.

“Cabin in the Woods” was director Drew Goddard’s first shot at the silver screen and he couldn’t translate the unique storyline into the epic film it could have been.

He turned what could have easily been an instant classic into something audiences shouldn’t have to pay $8 to go see.

As you would expect from any Lionsgate film, the blood and guts were there in abundance.

It has the typical scary movie archetypes: the promiscuous girl, jock, smart guy etc, but it is all a set up for the actual plot.

Five young people go into the woods to party it up for a weekend… blah, blah, blah, but in reality it is setting up for the sub plot of the movie.

There are tiny hints, that are purposely meant to look like they just fall in place with the obvious plot, but are there to make the audience start to catch on to the actual storyline.

Unless you are someone who looks for hidden meanings and over analyzes everything, you might miss a big chunk of those hints.

To be considered a good movie, average movie goers have to believe the story and care about the characters. The plot has to be easily followed, pull them in and make them want to stay and find out what happens next.

The beginning and middle of the movie was as close to an epic fail as any movie could be, but the end almost makes the movie worth it… almost.

“Cabin in the Woods” isn’t worth the money that the box office is charging, but it’s worth the dollar it will cost in a few weeks after it tanks.