Cerritos College
Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

Cerritos College • Norwalk, Calif.

Talon Marks

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Expectations versus reality in pandemic relationships

Photo credit: Hideralodo Dwight Leitao

Jazz music playing..

(music ends)..

Janet: Hi, guys. This is Janet. From Talon Marks newspaper alongside with my co-host Lola as well from Talon Marks newspaper. Today we’re gonna be speaking a little bit about what it is been dating during COVID and the pandemic. I’m gonna let Lola Introduce herself a little bit more, a little bit more as well and then we’ll jump right into it.

Lola: Hey, guys, my name is Lola, um, staff writer from Talons Marks and also the social media editor. So since the pandemic started back in March 2020, everything has moved to the online. School, work, even relationships. In such a lonely and isolated time you want someone to be there with us. However, is this really the best time to pursue the need to connect with someone? Is it the best time to find the one in a time of, a time of uncertainty? Here me and Janet are going to talk about an issue that worked out for some, but not for all, pandemic relationships.

Janet: Thank you for that Lola. So definitely, it has been a little tricky um as you can see, to date, whether you’re new into dating, or you have been already in a relationship, whether it was long distance, or you know, super close, I think COVID did make everything (message ringtone) long distance regardless. Um but for example, I do have, um, one of my friends actually who was dating her partner about two months before the pandemic hit. And they were really infatuated with each other and in love. (lip smack) And I think the pandemic actually did help them in their benefit. They went from just casually dating to moving in together. I think that,um, it did help them. But however, it was tricky for them. My friend did mention to me that it was a complete shock to know how her girlfriend was waking up in the morning that she was not a morning person at all. And it was just really weird for her. You know, she’s a very morning person and just wanting to say, Hey, babe, good morning. And her girlfriend will automatically be like not today. Not right now. Give me some time to wake up. I do think that, um, you do get to know someone and when you live with them. And this did rush their relationship, but now they’re in such a way better place. I can’t say it’s the same for everyone. But in this particular scenario for them, the pandemic did, um, benefit them. What are your thoughts on that? Do you think that everybody can benefit from, um, a pandemic relationship or not?

Lola: Well, I’m glad that worked out for them. But sadly, that is not the case for some especially like how old are your, um, your friends, the one that we’ve been together?

Janet: 25 and 24.

Lola: 25. So like they’re old enough to like understand relationships and stuff like that. Sadly, for like the younger generation see, like I’m mine I’m 20 now and, um, people around my age 18, 19, 20 they’re still in this like fairytale lala land age where they get all their ideas of relationship through like TV or like social media and they’re like.. Oh, well, I want that. And so they’re not really seeking out for them, they’re more, mostly seeking out because they’re bored. Or they have this like, um, image or desire to, like, pursue something that they see someone else having and like, they just want that for them but they’re just not really interested um in really getting to know the person and such. So they will get into these relationships through the pandemic. and since it’s everything’s online, it’s only through messages, and you can like, say or act in any way through online. But no one really knows who one is. So then you can have a total different, totally different persona. And then when it comes to meeting in the

Janet: the first time?

Lola: meeting the first time, it’s like, oh, this wasn’t what I was expecting and then you get kind of bored, and then it just like it’s a whole cycle. And so this actually happened to one of my friend like, she went on like Bumble. Um because she was she admitted it to me, she’s like, ”Oh, I was just bored and I was just like seeking out something and I just wasn’t really into it but however, like I was just like, Okay, let me just do it.” And then she found like a couple guys and then she started talking to and then they were all like, all really sweet. However, like when she saw them, um, in real life, she was not interested. And they were just acting a totally different way.

Janet: And that sucks,

Lola: So yeah, it totally does, so.

Janet: I think that the fact that you can’t just casually meet up and date, you know, going on like one or two dates, um, due to the pandemic does, you know, affect it negatively. But did she end up finding like at least a match or someone she’s still talking to through Bumble or through social media?

Lola: Not really, I mean, she’s still on the app, but it’s just like, she’s not like into it. Because, again, it just like, in a time of uncertainty, it’s just like, it’s what we’re doing when we’re lonely and bored. and we just want that.

Janet: Right.

Lola: We’re just not. So we’re just seeking out but it’s not like ready for us.

Janet: Absolutely. And then that’s funny and brings out a point, you know, what the reality of the dating during COVID versus what we see on social media, you know, I think we see a lot of if, um, if they wanted you to make it work, they could do whatever it is to make it work even through a pandemic, but it’s not as easy as it seems. Or as people say.

Lola: (mumbles)

Janet: You know, I think that you don’t want to risk yourself. For example, if your friend did meet this person on Bumble, um, she has to think about you know, do I want to take a COVID test before meeting with this person is he actually going to do even though he told me he was? Do I want to even like spend the time to go take a COVID test to meet a stranger if I’m not even going to do it to go hang out with my best friend who I haven’t seen in three months? Ya know?

Lola: Yeah

Janet: You know, you don’t really. (lip smack). Um it’s a kinda lotta hesitant. What is it? Things or precautions you’ve got to take in order to you to take the step and date during COVID.

Lola: Yeah, which makes it especially harder and and I keep seeing all these like people get into relationships all of a sudden, it’s like somebody’s like, how did you get into a relationship like during a pandemic. And then it just ends up not working out for them. Like I’ve seen people like break up automatically just for like dating for like three or four months, and then just like gone, and we idolize all these like distant relationships we see on TV working now

Janet: Right..

Lola: Or like, um, how you mentioned earlier to me, um, a Tik Tok. Can you explain a little bit more about that?

Janet: Yeah. I had seen a Tik Tok about a man who lived in the across building from this woman in New York City. And it became like a such a phenomenon, Tik Tok that was on Instagram and all of social media how, um, he really liked her and he thought she was cute, and he would send her notes through, um, through this drone that he had and asked her for her number. She wrote her number back, send it to him because she thought it was super cute. And the guy was just filming, you know, his day to day interaction with this woman, and how they kind of just started talking, obviously, they started texting, calling, then they planned out a romantic first date dinner through FaceTime, obviously, him in his room, meet her on her roof and they would see each other but talking to FaceTime, he sent her flowers, you know how like Postmates, but flowers and things of that nature. And eventually, um, they met up for a real date, but he were like this Super- suit astronaut, you know, because of COVID. I don’t know if it was to be funny, but you know, also to be safe. But you put this expectation to reality to all these young girls or boys. It’s like, if they really wanted to, they could rent out a suit as well. Or they can set the time to FaceTime me just like people are doing the zoom parties. But I think it’s a lot of commitment is not as easy as it sounds because you’re putting yourself out there not only to a stranger, but, you, uh, it’s during a pandemic. You not showing your best self, you know How you how courteous you can be whether it’s opening the door for them, or umm, ya know, pulling their chair for them to sit out? How can you really show your 100% self just through a FaceTime or through a text you get me I think that’s also very complicated. And people think it’s easy, or at least this generation where everyone is so, um, gentrified, get what I’m tryna say?

Lola: Yeah, so romanticized of things.

Janet: Right

Lola: Like it doesn’t, it’s not the time yet to do so. So it’s like, one really needs to like focus on themselves and take care of themselves, especially during this pandemic. Um there’s a lot of like, harsh things going on, deaths, school and stuff like that. It’s just, it really needs to be a time for you only before you get out there and make connections and stuff.

Janet: (lip smack) I think I think this was definitely or still is because COVID is still happening to take the time to get to know yourself.

Lola: Yeah,

Janet: So when That time does come you’re gonna meet that stranger on Bumble, or whatever social media you met them through, you’re not as shy because, I mean, let’s be real. I think I don’t know what my flirting game is, at this point. I’ve been locked up for over a year, I don’t know about yourself. Um you know, when you go out to a bar to a place and someone kind of hits on you, I’m gonna be a little freaked out and just be like, step away a little bit, sir, um, I think I’ll buy my own drink, you know, because it COVID. So I don’t know if I’ve lost my game. But I feel very, um, unprepared to go back into the world after COVID. You know, I don’t know about yourself.

Lola: Yeah. And I’m not saying like don’t make connections, you know, don’t find people and like, just isolate yourself. But just don’t rush into everything just because you’re lonely or you’re bored. Or you think this is the right time to do so. Likes its not.

Janet: Right

Lola: Like, it’s not not the right time. For some it did work out. But for some others, it’s just like, it wasn’t, it wasn’t the right move for them. So what I just recommend is taking this time to know yourself work on yourself, people have been like exercising and getting down to like their, um, their body goal, which is so good for them. They’re getting new hobbies and such. So I think it’s just a time for ourselves, really, and to find out what we really want.

Janet: Absolutely, I do agree with you, um, Lola. So hopefully, um, you know, those relations that did end up happening and worked out continue to work out. So if not, for those of us who are still single and unprepared, um

Lola: Be like, hey, it’s okay. We’ll get our chance. It’s alright.

Janet: But we’ll take we’ll take the time for sure to get our groove back on, you know, that self care where guy, are good to just worry about ourselves. And, you know, we’ll wait till that time comes for us. Other than that, I think that, um, COVID during sorry, dating during COVID has been an interesting topic to talk about. And I do want to thank you for, um, for coming here and speaking with me, about it, is there anything else you’d like to mention about this, um, experience or about this, um, topic?

Lola: Yeah, no, I think I’m good cover what I

Janet: Definitely All right. Well, Lola, thank you so much for joining me today. And hopefully we can catch up again soon. And talk about the next trending or also weird topic to talk about

Janet: Panorama, Pandemic situation, right

Lola: Pandeya

Janet: Pandeya (haha) that’s a good one.

(jazz music starts)

Janet: Alright well Lola, I’ll talk to you soon. Have a good one

Lola: Bye

(jazz music ends)

Podcast edited by: Lola Ajetunmobi

Transcribed by: Janet Chavarria

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About the Contributors
Lola Ajetunmobi
Lola Ajetunmobi, Social Media Editor
Lola Ajetunmobi, sophomore at Cerritos College, is the Social Media Editor for Talon Marks covering community, life, arts & entertainment and opinions. Lola hopes to transfer to Syracuse University in Fall 2021 to double major in journalism and public relations. She enjoys writing, listening to music and exploring different foods.
Janet Chavarria
Janet Chavarria, Staff Writer
Janet Chavarria, is currently in her last semester at Cerritos, before transferring to Cal State Fullerton to continue to work on her journalism major if all goes well. In her free time, she loves to go on hikes, ride motorcycles with her friends, try new foods and spend time cooking and baking with her grandmother. She is also an avid sports fanatic for all of LA teams and hopes to be a sports anchor or announcer one day.
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Expectations versus reality in pandemic relationships