1. DO NOT BRING UP YOUR EX

This is the most important strategy, that’s why it’s listed first. No matter how relevant it is to a conversation, bringing up the person who you regularly had sex with and exchanged “I love you’s” is odd. It makes the situation awkward and it will make the other person uncomfortable, annoyed, or even jealous. It also shows you are not over your former lover. If you bring up your ex on the first date, you lose! If the other person does this, you need to decide if you would like to follow-up with a second date.

2. Do not flash your insecurities or personal tragedies.

This will also make the other person uncomfortable. It shows that you are both lacking an adequate amount of self-esteem and narcissistic. It looks like you’re phishing for complements or pity. If your date does this, they might be hard to keep happy later on in the game.

3. Keep the conversation light and surface level.

It might not yet be appropriate for you to talk about your missionary trip to Uganda, your childhood traumas or your Tumblr. If there is a lull in conversation, talk about these things: Movies, music, books, food, school. Because you are just getting to know the other person, you do not need to reveal too much about yourself; you might scare them away. Remember that they need to like you on the surface before they can love you. The deep stuff is important but you must respect the due process.

4. Be polite

It’s not necessary to smother the other person in complements; especially if they revolve around their bodies; and especially if you don’t know them very well. Still, let them know that you are interested; manners are important too, though. There is some idea that has infected the gay community that suggests that it’s cute to insult people in order to win their affection. This idea is stupid! Be nice, even if you are not interested in a second date. They are taking time to be with you, so at least pretend to be grateful.

5. Be yourself

In the end, you would want someone to love you for you, so you should facilitate this happening by not giving any wrong impressions. Put your best foot forward. Be genuine. Show the other person all the things you love about yourself. Be yourself; unless you can be a mermaid, then be a mermaid.