The Envelope: The art of breaking up

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If you are ready to see someone again you should make yourself emotionally available by being able to trust being vulnerable in front of them; you should make the process of getting to know someone an enjoyable one by not letting your former lover haunt your conversations Photo credit: Jenny Gonzalez

Benjamin Garcia

So you had your moment of clarity, realized your self worth, and rid of that pesky and unworthy person (probably a male) from your life.

No doubt the decision was deliberated to terminate the relationship to the sound of some soulful sounds.

Perhaps it was Beyonce who convinced you. It is important to not hate Becky with the good hair; you are in the same place as her, you were being used just as she was, you are her.

What do you do next?

The first step is to withdraw from the noise of the crowd.

Take care of yourself. Hydrate yourself, drink some tea or lemonade – get your antioxidants so that you can glow. Get some exercise or watch your favorite movies.

Have some fun or pamper yourself. If you are a materialistic slave of the corporate overlords, buy some new clothes or overpriced food; if you are not a materialistic slave of the corporate overlords, try volunteering or undermining capitalism.

Meditate on what has just happened and remember all the reasons you love yourself, if you don’t love yourself then now is the time to start. Remember that your former lover did not love you for all or any of the reasons that you deserve to be loved. Be at peace knowing that splitting was the right decision.

The next step is to tell those who are close to you. Do not proceed to this step until you are absolutely sure that you are at peace with the course of events. Tell your best friends or family members in order to get moral support, another perspective, affirmation, or perhaps even a second opinion. If you would feel unsafe or uncomfortable being open at this point, try writing or blogging about the break up in a safe space. Repeat step one.

After this you should decide how you would like to be associated with the person you just ended it with. Would you like to continue to be “friends” with this person? Would you like to never see them again? Which pictures of them should you keep posted online? Is being around them safe? You must answer these questions for yourself.

Lastly, take what you learned about yourself and apply it. If you are ready to see someone again you should make yourself emotionally available by being able to trust being vulnerable in front of them; you should make the process of getting to know someone an enjoyable one by not letting your former lover haunt your conversations or affect your actions.

It is imperative that you make it possible to peruse the life you wish to lead. Do not be deterred.